We have all met a narcissist at least once, but if you have had the chance to live close by, you would know that these manipulative people always get away with their dirty acting.
Narcissists are deceitful and cheaters, so they can freely enjoy a positive social climate due to the possibility to display numerous faced toward others.
These people often engage in many debates in social groups and make others like them. Yet, they use these chances to target empathic and compassionate people and humiliate them.
Narcissists innately lack the ability to empathize with others, but they can sometimes come off, at least initially, as very caring due to their social charm. Their feigned confidence makes them authentic, but they oscillate between feeling a God-like sense of self-importance and a deep feeling of insecurity.
The narcissist is envious and feels the urge to stop people he believes are better than him.
However, due to the connection between the two, the abuse will continue, with the victim being unable to do anything about it. Such abuse can happen in a romantic relationship, at work, or in the family.
Narcissists are skillful and appear to be the victims in public, and find a way to provoke others to react emotionally and look unstable.
When meeting a person for the first time, a narcissist assesses whether it is someone who can be in their use or it is a threat that needs to be eliminated. People labeled as threats by narcissists can be due to their success, talent, education, competence, knowledge, or any other qualities the narcissist finds important.
A narcissist initially praises these qualities, idealizes the victim, and then finds a way to diminish and reject the person, inflicting doubt and pain.
In most cases, narcissistic people are charming, intelligent, powerful, and handsome, so it is not difficult to get attached to them. Psychologists call this the “halo effect” when people tend to take in one trait and add it as an attribute for the entire personality of the individual.
Yet, if a narcissist suspects he will be exposed, he will defend by claiming that the victim is the problem, trying to cause a problem without a reason.
People are deceived by the false trustworthiness and non-existent integrity of narcissists.
Even when they figure a manipulator out, their empathetic nature forgives the bad treatment, and they even claim that deep down, the narcissist is a good person.
Although many equate narcissism with psychopathy, it is actually a bit more nuanced.
In fact, the intention is what really makes a distinction between “good” and “bad” narcissism. “Good” narcissists are aware of their selfish tendencies, so they consciously work to avoid them. Yet, they are often deficient in their success due to their neurological limitations.
On the other hand, “bad” narcissists essentially exhibit the same qualities as psychopaths as they do not care about the effects of their behavior. Yet, even though it does not look like it on the surface, they are actually very insecure and care about the way others perceive them.
However, the most important thing is to speak up, and spread awareness. In case you are a victim of a narcissist, you should confront him, in order to save others from the same abuse.
While we tend to use the word narcissist to describe a self-centered person, short on empathy, note that narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a legitimate mental health condition that requires diagnosis by a mental health professional.