Have you heard of the term “ narcissist”? Narcissism is a diagnosable personality disorder that causes people to have a delusional sense of self-worth and a lack of empathy.
We cannot say you are lucky if you have met one, as these people can be extremely difficult to socialize with.
The root cause of their selfishness is the lack of self-awareness, so narcissists depend on other people and the way they perceive them.
Narcissists have an inflated sense of their own importance, as well as a deep need for excessive attention and admiration. Their personality leads to troubled relationships since they lack empathy for others, and they find their relationships unfulfilling.
Behind their mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism. These people face problems in many areas of life, their relationships, work, school or financial affairs. They may be generally unhappy and disappointed when not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve.
Narcissists deny having any flaws and always find a way to skillfully blame others for their personal shortcomings, misfortunes, and mistakes.
This is called projection, and individuals with narcissistic tendencies are projection-heavy people.
Narcissists require constant and excessive admiration, believing they are superior. They insist on getting the best things in life and behave arrogantly and haughtily.
Moreover, these people are envious and believe others envy them and are preoccupated with fantasies about success and power. They take advantage of the people surrounding them, and monopolize conversations, belittling or looking down on people they perceive as inferior.
People with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and in such cases, they become impatient, angry, react with rage and cannot control their emotions and behavior. On the other hand, criticism can sometimes make them feel depressed and moody.
Narcissists with sociopathic and psychopathic tendencies blame, deny, confuse, and hurt people around them in the following five ways:
1. They blame others for their advantage
A narcissist will never admit that he has made a mistake and it is his fault, and they always find someone to pass the blame. It works as a therapeutic release for a collective group of narcissists to always be demanding and receiving a public apology.
They often use a method known as gaslighting, to twist reality and make others doubt themselves so they can go on with their own agenda.
Wikipedia defines it as follows:
“Gaslighting or gas-lighting is a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity.”
2. They have unrealistically high expectations of life
A narcissist has a false sense of grandeur, overcompensation, unrealistic expectations and demands. They believe the world owes them everything, they are superior and struggle to accept reality.
They can often use religiosity as an escape or cover and words like the perfect family, man/woman of my dreams, life savior, and prince charming to attain some sort of “fix”.
No matter how hard you try, it is never enough for them, as they cannot acknowledge the so-called “little things” that happen behind the scenes.
3. They call you things that you are not
Narcissists will often blame you for the things they do. For instance, they will claim that you are selfish, while they think only about their own needs.
A narcissist believes he is entitled to all of your resources, so in case you reject, cannot, or do not provide them with what they want, they will understand it as an aggression.
These people use various techniques to make you feel bad and do what they want, such as mocking, name-calling, bullying, triangulation, berating feelings, obscuring the issue, gaslighting, provoking, guilt-tripping, criticizing, or nitpicking.
4. They play victim
Another common strategy of these people is playing the victim. They easily convince others that they are the victim, and you are the abuser.
In most cases, they provoke you to get a reaction. A narcissist can physically attack you, destroy your property, or turn others against you, and when you respond appropriately to their active or passive aggression, they make it look like you are the aggressor.
You will get accused of things you haven’t done, and after all the drama, people will not be able to see the whole picture.
The truth means nothing to a narcissist, as he always thinks about their audience’s perception. They need to get the false validation that they are righteous and good and that you are wrong and evil. In this way, they restore their sense of self-esteem.
This method is often used in highly conflicted family situations, and it means a rise of tension between family members because one person selectively communicates or does not communicate the truth in full, misleads the others, and creates a different version of the story.
In this way, narcissists seek a scapegoat, an easily manipulative partner, someone who they know will cover for them and/or they can put the blame on when things get heated.
However, narcissists are often unable to notice their mental blind spots, and they are not consistent and many pieces of relevant information in their stories are often missing.
Causes of narcissistic personality disorder are not yet well-understood, but experts believe that genetic and biological factors as well as the environment and early life experiences, all play a role in the development of this condition.
Due to their defensiveness and a feeling of grandiosity, narcissists cannot acknowledge their problems and vulnerabilities, so treatment for narcissistic personality disorder can be challenging.
Yet, psychotherapy may be useful in helping people with this personality disorder relate to others in a healthier and more compassionate way.